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Mothers – Architects Of Society.

Mother: The first Mentor for a child.

When Mothers are not supported society falters.

When circumstances compel Mothers into performing the duties of both a father and a mother, the franchise of Motherhood is in crisis.

Mothers are forced into sacrificing their important role – their role as an architect of human society.

While society is ready to acknowledge that an imbalance in the environment leads to climate change catastrophes, it is rarely acknowledged that an imbalance in the role of parenting is the cause of much chaos in the family unit which ultimately affects societies and Nation as a whole.

In all human cultures and civilisations, the significance and importance of the family unit has constantly been emphasised. Quite often, the family unit is described as the glue which binds society together. When the family unit breaks down, the negative implications for society are many.

When children are unable to look to positive parental role models, aimlessness, insularity, and depression are some of the psychological symptoms which may be exhibited.

The danger of these symptoms in young children and teenagers is that they may manifest themselves in substance abuse and anti-social behaviour. The cost to society is not only emotional and psychological, but also financial, including:

Social chaos and Government spending every year : (figures from various sources*).

 Alcohol abuse  - $54 billion p.a.
Incest (Increasing at an epidemic rate)
Child Protection and out of home care - $2.2 billion 2008-09
Teenage drug and alcohol abuse - $85.094 Million 2004-05 3.2% of total ACT budget
Teenage single mothers, welfare and Social Security                                                                                                         - $1Trillion spend   
Obesity direct cost
- $21 billion spend
 Depression (worse slow poison killing many-a big crime) Other psychological and social problems in children and Government Grants
- $54 Billions spend
Teenage violence and alcohol abuse on the streets - Millions spend
- Billions spend
Graffiti  - $100 Millions p.a.
Policemen leaving their jobs because of job pressure.  
Pressure on health system and hospital facilities. Billions spend
  Victim Compensation(domestic violence only)  65 to 80 Billions already spend

     *(Source: Google, ABC, The Australian, SMH, ABS )

The concerning aspect of the financial cost to society is that Governments are prepared to spend large amounts of money on ad-hoc solutions to the manifestations of the symptoms, but fail to address the fundamental cause of the problem – the breakdown of the family unit.

The fact that the importance of maintaining the family unit is sometimes lost on Governments, and more broadly, society in general, can lead to some irresponsible fathers believing that they can break the family unit without any concern for their children and without ever being questioned about the job they are leaving behind as fathers.

Some in society expect mothers to take complete responsibility for the upbringing of their children, while fathers who have decided to leave the family unit are not faced with any social stigmatisation.

Mothers with little children need the support of the children’s father so that her children can be raised properly and qualitatively.

Mothers are the silent architects of society. They are the indispensable builders of society, who lay the foundation of confidence, faith, and moral values in our youth. Women are bestowed with a distinct psychological chemistry that is needed for motherhood and the healthy development of a family.

When motherhood is removed from the social equation of societies, it results in catastrophic consequences. In April, former United States President, Bill Clinton, gathered an army of former presidents, state governors, and city mayors from all fifty states of America. Their brief was to address the most perilous problems facing American society – 15 Million young Americans who are considered at –risk youth. Colin Powell, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff states: ” They are at risk of growing up unskilled, or, even worse, unloved.”

Fifteen million youth – all products of dysfunctional families. Every year 3.4 million kids try drugs, and half a million attempt suicide in the United States. In 1994, 1.2 million divorces took place in the U.S. and experts predict that half of all new marriages would end in divorce.

Thirty-eight percent of children now live without a biological father. 6.6 million Children live with divorced single parents, mostly mothers whose ex-husbands tend to fade away from their children. Twenty percent of children in the United States ages 6-12 have not had a 10-minute conversation with a parent in a month. Their conversation is with TV, which acts as their mother, father, baby-sitter, and teacher. By the time they are teenagers, children have seen an estimated 18,000 violent murders on TV. This is family life in USA. “Something is wrong with the entire American family,” writes Martin Marry, professor at the University of Chicago. “One has the weird sense that America is a country with many children but without adults.”

Former Australian of the Year and ARACY Board Chair, Professor Fiona Stanley, AC states that “While Australia’s economic and technological progress has been strong over recent decades, these benefits have not resulted in significant improvements to the health and wellbeing of the nation’s young people”

AUSTRALIA’S prosperity is masking an unpalatable truth – the health and wellbeing of our children lag unacceptably behind those of many developed countries.

21/10 11:45,Australian IT

MENTAL health services for young people with psychosis are in a ‘state of emergency’ and deliver poor and inappropriate care, causing delays and even costing lives.
16/10 05:28,Sydney Morning Herald
There could be an ‘epidemic of stillbirths’ in Australia in the next few years if the nation’s obesity rate continues to soar and more women aged over 35 have children, researchers have found.
16/10 03:52,Australian IT
  The gap between rich and poor has grown in most developed countries over the past 20 years, leading to an increase in child poverty, an organisation of 30 leading economies says.

Mothers with supportive husbands can solve bullying, depression, and many other complexes in children.

The Mother’s lap is the first school for a child. She prepares a child to go into the world. If a Mother is able to stay at home to look after her young children, without the added stress of part-time or full-time employment, she can teach her children in a great deal that how to respect others and be good citizens. Mothers pass all the emotions and care and soft part of the human nature through her presence, cuddles and attention. Through her talk, through her explanations, she becomes the best counsellor and psychologist for a child. This guidance prepares her child to understand other human beings, prepares their mind and uplifts their sprit. The child truly learns what care is all about. If this is missing you are raising a hard hearted child. And definitely in child care you will not get the kind of attention what your mother can give.

While society is ready to acknowledge that an imbalance in the environment leads to climate change catastrophes, it is rarely acknowledged that an imbalance in the role of parenting is the cause of much chaos in the family unit which ultimately affects societies.

Mothers with committed and caring husbands can solve many problems related to depression, anxiety, and anti-social behaviour in young children and teenagers.

Many single Mothers around the world have to struggle between commitments to work and family.  Rather than being acknowledged for their great contribution to the human race as Mothers, women, especially single Mothers, need to work both as a father and as a mother and a bread winner which is worse than working as a bonded labourer. This constant juggling act, with little or no support from a husband who has abandoned the family leads to chaos in the family unit and human society.

Being a Mother is one of the noblest contributions that a woman can make to civilisation. The importance of nurturing young children at home has unfortunately turned into a commodity with single Mothers being forced to go to work and send their children to child care facilities. Having Mothers stay at home has many societal benefits (at least until they finish their primary schooling):

Happy Mothers at home solves the problem of unemployment:

Being at home she is creating more job opportunities for the men so they can have stable jobs and be responsible for their role as a husband and as a father.

Happy Mothers at home reduces carbon pollution and traffic jams: Mothers can grow their own veggie gardens which can produce oxygen and less consumption of canned food. (See the video of : story of stuff by Anne Leonard, on YouTube link:http://youtu.be/gLBE5QAYXp8. or visit www.storyofstuff.com)

It proves that how we are running out of our natural resources, and polluting our environment. And on top of everything we are living a life of stress and frustration. We are playing a role of a consumer rather than a mother, a father, a farmer or a teacher.

Happy Mothers at home reduces the burden on hospitals crisis: Healthy children from happy families don’t need hospitals, saving millions or billions of dollars.

Happy Mothers at home lifts the burden from various and many counselling organization run by the government:

Happy Mothers at home can assist with solving problems related to teenage girls and boys: It reduces or solve the cases of incest by the close family members and other sexual abuse. If children can get good care and attention and loving upbringing at home they will not wandered around on the streets or destroying public properties.

The former Coalition Government, led by John Howard, changed the law for work participation of single mothers. The law was amended so that once the youngest child of a single mother turned 6, the single mother was compelled to look for employment. The law previously allowed mothers to stay at home until the youngest child turned 14. When single Mothers, who are already working hard, are forced to go to work and neglect looking after their children, the financial cost to society will be greater in terms of health spending on children who are not being cared for properly.

Politician/one man’s decision can affect the whole nation especially its impact on children and future.

But what when divorce happens and these mothers become single mothers then many social and psychological problems take hold.

Children and ladies from these relationships are suffering. No proper practical laws of safety for these single mothers and children. And life gets closer to death and you are not even out of your daily problems and children grow up with low self esteem and as disheartened and confused as one can be. As a result mothers and children are suffering.

At least it is better in Islam that if you can’t do JUSTICE marry only once and if you can do justice, JUSTICE which means that if you have respect for women, you have sense of commitment, if you can provide, and support, respect and care equally, then you are allowed to marry two or up to four. And there is a limit but in relationships no limits, no commitment. In Islam rights always comes with limits.

“ Respect the womb that bore you for nine months……..”

 (Noble Quran: 4)

In Islâm, motherhood is a sacred and sacrosanct vocation,

“Paradise lies under the feet of your mother”- Prophet of Islam Mohammed(MayAllah’s peace and mercy be upon him)

are the glowing terms with which Prophet described a mother’s status. Motherhood is not a thankless mundane activity, rather it is a spiritual journey, wherein every bit of sacrifice will be acknowledged and rewarded. The Holy Qur’ân states:

 ”If any do deeds of righteousness, be it male or female – and have faith, they will enter paradise and not the least injustice will be done to them.”


         Mr. ADIL NAVEED

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